Punchline

Originally posted on Young Team Manager


The long awaited to the punchline of Jake being incapable of moving a pencil around arrived yesterday evening via an email out of the blue from a gentleman name Taylor Kirkwood:

Hello, my name is taylor kirkwood. i was wondering whether or not this
drawing of a htllelt actually depicts a real creature. above all of the
absurdities of my inquiring about something that seems so easily made to
be an obvious joke, i will tell you why i even bothered writing this
message. Four years ago in Fairhaven MA, three 15 year old boys were
playing down near the water surrounding fort pheonix, when a black, and
hairy basketball shaped creature, actually emerged out of the tall grass
on three very long, sticklike black legs, and came running right for them.
Before entering the water this creature paused and screamed at them in a
most highly disturbing wrech, and then continued for the water. I
researched this for them a little bit and the only things that come even
close are an ancient mythical bird creature called the Yatagarasu, said to
roam streams and waters in japan. I was just wondering, because two of the
kids in the story ive just told you happen to be good friends of mine, who
revere the "Thing" themselves with great authenticity. The thing they said
was most creepy about it, was the way that it angled itself before diving
into the water. It shot upwards and forwards in two straight lines, and
never resurfaced.
so i just wanted to know, Is this Drawing, of something real? or was it
just a drawing.

After I pieced my mind back together, I was able to formulate this response:

First of all hello Mr. Kirkwood. Second of all, wow! What an interesting turn for this story to take. Unfortunately on your end, the drawing was nothing more than a disastrously feeble blueprint for an object to be made in a 3 dimensional art class. The hair was to be cooked spaghetti noodles glued to the surface of tin foil in the shape of an egg. I'm still unclear as to what material the legs were to be, but it most assuredly was not intended to represent anything living, dead, imagined, or otherwise. Which is unfortunate because I am most intrigued by your story. You say the Yatagarasu is the only creature that comes close? No other accounts of similarly tripodal egg shaped screeching aberrant animals? I do not intend to make fun in the slightest. I am genuinely intrigued, and must now to conduct some research of my own on the subject. If I happen to unearth anything I will surely notify you. I'm interested enough to hope the same from you. Keep me posted. I am a glutton for cryptozoology, urban legends, and colloquial creatures. Best of luck in your searches. Thank you for being interested enough to send such a well formulated and typo free e-mail (as rare as your creature). The internet has served it's purpose well in connecting me to this singularly bizarre account.

All the best, and have the fun,
-Andrew Lyman

So if anyone has any information that could lead to the apprehension of a living "HTLLELT" please contact me. I have taken a great personal interest in this story and wish to see it through to the end.

Original Post