Andy's Auspicious Adventures in Maine || Episode One: The House

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM A MASS E-MAIL (because I don't have the time, the internet, or the energy to produce anything original at the moment).

Ahoy all friends, family, and unaffiliated! I awoke for the third consecutive morning in the state of Maine, city of Portland early this AM. I popped my back, and craned my neck as was necessitated after sleeping on a folded blanket placed solidly on the solid floor of my new room. Yup, just three days into this and already I've graduated from a nice cozy couch in the middle of downtown Portland to a beautiful old hardwood floor... and... well, I'm getting ahead of myself. For those of you who need some catching up (I.E: everyone but the three people I've talked to nearly every day since I've been here), my first two evenings I stayed on the couch of a nice fella I met on them internets. No no, not on the serial strangler/ rapist chat room that I used to spend a lit of time on, but through a much more sketchy site called CouchSurfing.com which actually turned out to not be very sketchy at all, in fact I highly recommend it. It has served me and my hosts quite well. The first night I got in another couch surfer was just on her way out, a 20 year old from Flagstaff Arizona exploring the East Coast after a summer on an organic farm run by freaky village of the damned style super-christians/ satanists. We went out for Lobster for her last and my first night in Maine right before she hit the road for Boston. If you are on a budget and feel that you absolutely must indulge in some Maine lobster, might I recommend the Lobster Rolls: all the meat, none of the work, it's ten bucks cheaper than having that whole semi-smilin' glorified cockroach delivered on a bed of fries to you, and it comes with bread wrapped around it! Who doesn't like that? Oh and so there was no doubt as to our "out of town" status we had a slice of blueberry pie.

I've spent much of the time since dinner exploring, biking, being told "no, we're not hiring", and trying my best to use the ole' Lyman charm (thanks Dad) and meet new people. It's a beautiful town out here. Like well worn clothing, it feels very worn, very loved, and very functional. It's a very up front and genuine town, and a looker to boot. There's lots of biking, lots of sailing, lots of canoing, and lots of restaurants! Someone told me that Portland has the second most restaurants per capita of any city in the Union. And they're REALLY good. I've been eating very well, and on the cheap. All sorts of different stuff, lots of Thai, Sushi, Mexican, Pizza, Bakeries, you name it, it's probably out here in this little town of 66,000. There's a good culture here too. The art galleries are actually interesting! And the music scene seems very strong, although I'm having a hard time understanding the strange juxtaposition that is occurring up here as every tattooed, patched-up, black t-shirt wearin, ratty haired, vegan food eatin kid out here does not listen to punk music, does not listen to metal, but instead opts to sit cross legged on the floor and listen to Folk music. It's not that i terribly mind, in fact one of the bands I saw the other night where I met many of the aforementioned kids was very good, it's just weird ya know. What's happening to the youth of America, hippies of a darker color pallet. But everyone I've met so far has been great. The couch guys will both probably be some good friends out here for a while, they went to undergrad together and are both involved in the Theater scene up here.

Anyway the subject line of this volume suggestes that you would be reading primarily about "The House" which I am getting to right now. I moved in yesterday to my new place. It's a converted attic in a great old house just a mile and a half outside of town. I live on a dead end street right across the train tracks and the river feeds into the harbor just behind me. Just across the street are some trails that go along the river and up to a waterfall that I have yet to explore but look forward to. It's just a 15 minute bike ride to downtown from where I'm at and there is a bus stop literally just outside my house that is a straight shot to the heart of the city. I have a large fenced backyard with a healthy old fir tree growing right up out of it, and gigantic old garage that I have been encouraged to use as a studio, workspace, so I plan on getting some supplies and doing some drawing/ painting again. I have a very wonderful and very creepy old cellar, where I'm convinced people are buried, or will be, and my place is the third floor. I live above two older women whom I met least night and seem very pleasant. I have a beautiful hard-wood floor room with original wood doors and frames. There are big sloped ceilings and lits of old wooden doors that lead into black attic spaces. I am without a kitchen, but I have a full, if somewhat diagonal (as in, that's how you have to stand at all times in it) bathroom. I'll just have to get a bit creative with food, but let's face it, how much have I ever really cooked for myself anyway? The really nice thing about all this is that it's very cheap. $100 dollars less than anything else I was looking at out here, and all of those were first floor rectangles with a stove. This is a VERY New England ghost story type of space. I am expecting to descend into madness before the winter comes. It's very Lovecraftian, and I was warned by a fellow I met at this great store called Strange Maine to watch out for mathematically impossible angles (because that's where the Witch comes through in "Dreams in the Witch-House). Although I slept the night peacefully (aside from some back pains, which I cannot ascribe to any supernatural factors, just the hard floors), and there was not incident to report, but do not give up hope, we'll find the old ones around here somewhere. I'll get some pictures together to send out with the next episode.

Well I think I have to bow out gracefully here. My time is almost up, and I'm currently having my ear talked off by a nice fella' here at the McDonalds (it's where I had to go since the Dunkin Donuts here had no wireless). I will be without internet for another week. But I'll try the stories coming, and I'll try and keep exploring and adventuring. Have the fun. I've been missing you guys. I'll let you know if I find Cthulu. Erin has already claimed my books if I'm driven mad by terror.